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Do You Love Me?

“And now, I just have so much love for the Lord,” said the woman sitting across from in the seminary cafeteria.  We were sharing each other’s biographies and that’s how hers ended.

“That’s great,” I said kind of half-heartedly.  Really, I was just being polite.  Her comment didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.  At that point in my life, I just wouldn’t express my journey with Jesus with such emotional enthusiasm.  What did that mean, anyway?  Loving the Lord?

Do you love Jesus?  Some of you might answer, “Yes”.  Many of you might give that answer out of a sense of obligation.  It is what you’re supposed to say in church.  Yet inside you wonder what loving Jesus actually means.  It can be a strange and difficult concept when you really think about it.  Where does one go to love this Jesus and what does one do when one gets there?  No offense to those of other sexual orientations, but it’s a particularly difficult concept for many heterosexual men.  After all, the church often uses the language to describe a relationship with Jesus that borders on that of romantic love.  We sing about how beautiful he is, his tender love, how we’re going to give it up for him.  Face it, it can all be a little - well, weird.

Maybe you once were like the woman I met in the seminary cafeteria.  You felt a passionate love for Jesus at one time on your life, but now it’s difficult to feel anything for him. Maybe you have no difficulty at all loving Jesus and exclaiming it fervently.  Yet you know that one day life may throw you a curve, and you worry that love will die.  Is there anything to loving Jesus beyond just our feelings?

How Do You Keep Preaching From Being An Ego Trip? Part III

Today, we conclude my series on preaching and ego with advice from two theological heavyweights:

Remember the Johnny Carson Principle – Carson was the master of standup comedy and late night talk.  He could have easily used his talents to overshadow his guests.  However, his guests and critics always praised him for his gift of letting his guests shine.  When someone appeared on the Tonight Show, Johnny let them be the star.  Share the spotlight with your congregation.  Share their stories, not yours.  Let them lead worship and preach.  Replace your sermon with a real two-way conversation.  Sure, there will be some for whom, no matter how much you give them the spotlight they always want more.  But let them be the attention hog, not you.

Remember the Dennis Miller Principle – On his old HBO show, Miller would end his overconfident rants with the words, “That’s just my opinion.  I may be wrong.”    I am sometimes tempted to end every one of my sermons with those words.  If not speaking it aloud, perhaps we should all at least hold that attitude as we preach.

Admittedly, I haven’t always followed my own advice.  However, I have discovered that the more I can keep myself and my own ego out of my sermons, the more room there is for God.  

In what ways have you experienced, as preacher or listener, less ego during a sermon?

 

How Do You Keep Preaching From Being An Ego Trip? Part II

When I began preaching over a decade ago, I was concerned that my background in entertainment, as well as my own need for approval, would taint my sermons with egotism.  In the years since, I have come up with some guidelines that help keep me from going off track (though not always successfully).  The series I began yesterday continues with some tips about using illustrations in sermons.

Use Only One Personal Story Per Sermon – If your sermon includes one story about your kids, one about your great marriage and one about how many times you threw up that week because of a stomach virus, your sermon may be just a little too focused on yourself.  Pick just one.  This can be challenging, since we want to preach from own experiences and not just parrot downloaded resources like the pastor mentioned in yesterday's post. When you do tell that one story about yourself…

Don’t Make Yourself the Hero of the Story – People think you’re being a holier-than-thou pompous ass.  How do I know this?  Because I think you’re being pompous ass too.  Anytime you tell a story about yourself, ask what you are convey and why you want people to think that about you.  Self-depreciating humor and anecdotes go a long way to deconstructing the stereotype of the self-righteous clergyperson.  Yes, there are times when you need to lead by example and let people know you are doing so (e.g. making mutual sacrifices with the congregation).  But in general, if you suspect a story makes you look like a super-Christian, leave it out.  People have had enough of self-righteous preachers.

Look Around the Room - So if canned illustrations and too many stories about you are a bad thing, from where should you get your illustrations?  Look to others in the community.  Share their stories (with their permission of course).  Better yet, let them share their story.   It is a myth that the pastor must always be the one in the community with the best marriage, or best kids, or deepest prayer life, or closest to God.  Our faith communities are filled with people whose stories are more God-filled than our own.  If you have no one in your congregation whose story is worth sharing, well then, you have a whole other problem entirely. 

As a preacher or listener, how  do these suggestions resonate with you?

That's it for now.  Tomorrow, the Carson and Miller principles.

 

 

How Do You Keep Preaching From Being An Ego Trip? Part I

Ever heard a preacher speak and said to yourself, "Wow, that guy is really into himself"?  If you're a preacher, chances are someone has probably said that about you too.  Keeping our egos out of our preaching is challenging.  After all, it's just you and the microphone.  What could be more self-centered than that? I have probably now preached about 400 or so sermons in my lifetime.  I would like to think that in the course of preparing and delivering all those messages, I have learned something.  So, let me share some suggestions about preaching and how it relates to issues of ego and self (not that anyone asked).

Reveal Something About Yourself - Although your ego has no place in a sermon, your personhood and unique journey with God does.  My friend attended his church almost every Sunday during his pastor’s five-year tenure.  After the pastor left, my friend felt as if he still knew nothing about the guy as a person.  His sermons were mostly abstract concepts and illustrations, all involving other people, places and times.  Many of the stories were obviously canned illustrations he found on the web.  There was no sense of authenticity and therefore little connection between speaker and audience. So how do you include yourself in the sermon without making it all about you?

Don’t Hide Your Weaknesses – If you struggle with some issue or story, let the congregation know it.  Believe me, they’re struggling with it too.  If you don’t have an answer to a question raised by the text, admit it.  Never give an easy pat answer or explanation.  Never act sure about things of which you’re not.  People know when you’re faking it.  If your faith community is not a place where you can do that, something is really wrong.  Deal with that issue in your congregation or consider moving to one where you can be honest.  Life is too short to waste time playing the all-knowing pastor. Sure there are people looking for that, but there are thousands of pastors whose churches they can go to.  You may just be the one person God has called to reach everyone else.  Yes, I believe in strong leadership, but a guy named Paul once said when we are weak we are strong. 

Never Assume People Know What You’re Talking About – The days of biblical and theological literacy are over.  Don’t just spout out Bible names and philosophical concepts.  It takes just a few seconds to add parenthetical expressions like; “Isaiah, who spoke for God a few centuries before the time of Jesus,…”; or “John Wesley, who started the Methodist renewal movement in England over 200 years ago…”; or “the Atonement, which is a term theologians use to describe what Jesus’ death did for us…”.  Hospitality is not just about coffee.  Brief explanations in our preaching go a long way to creating a welcoming hospitable atmosphere for everyone, regardless of their religious knowledge.  It makes our churches seem less like exclusive clubs where one needs specialized knowledge to enter, and makes you less of the expert.

As a preacher or listener, how  do these suggestions resonate with you?

That's it for now.  Tomorrow, some tips about using illustrations.

Re-cognizing Jesus

The rise of social media has brought about the decline of life’s most awkward moments - the guess-who-I-was encounters at a high school reunion.  In case you’re unfamiliar with this moment, it goes something like this.  You attend your reunion and someone from your class approaches you, covering up their name tag and says, “Hey, remember me?”  You stand there for what seems an eternity, looking at this person, and for the life of you, have no idea who they are.  Fading memory, receding hairlines, and calories have made them unrecognizable.  It’s a horrifically awkward moment. 

So you respond with some safe answer like , “How could I forget you?” and put out your hand.  With any luck, this forces them to put out theirs, revealing their name tag, thus enabling you to pretend to recognize the kid who sat three rows behind you in health class.  In recent years, social media has at least given many of us a heads up on what our old classmates look like, and gives them a preview of how we all have aged.  Hopefully, those awkward guess-who-I-am-at-the-reunion moments are fewer these days.

After his death, Jesus had a few reunions of sorts with his followers.  The details of these incidents varies greatly, but a common thread in almost all of them is that when the Risen Jesus appears, no one recognizes him.  I don’t claim to know exactly what the disciples experienced in the resurrection experiences.  The Gospel writers themselves seem to struggle with how to describe it.  The RIsen Christ has the ability to suddenly appear in a room, but also eats fish.  That’s  heartbreaking to vegans, I know.  For his followers, words and concepts fell short in describing who and what Jesus now was.

In Jesus’ day, there was no social media to prepare them for these encounters.  There was apparently no expectation among his disciples that once Jesus was crucified and buried, he would be back.  Yes, there were Hebrew Bible passages like Psalm 22 and the Suffering Servant passages in Isaiah, but up to this time, no one viewed them as Messianic predictions.  No one was flipping through their Bible at the foot of the cross having an a-ha moment.  Sure, there are some Gospel stories where Jesus tells his disciples that he would be killed and raised after three days.  But either they weren’t listening too well or they didn’t believe him, because no one was waiting at his tomb three days later for him to come out.  The resurrection of Jesus was totally unexpected and unprecedented.

First Hand Faith

“I feel like I’ve failed as a parent.”

Those words were spoken to me by a good friend.  This man had raised his children going to church and given them a foundation in their faith.  In particular, this man’s son loved church.  During his high school years, he was active in the youth group and even spoke in front of the congregation about his faith. My friend’s son was now in college, living away from home.  He was meeting friends with beliefs different than his own, and getting exposed to new ideas in his classes.  When he returned home from school for Christmas break, his father expected him to go to back to the family’s church for the holiday.  But the son was indifferent about going.

“I’m so sure I believe all that stuff anymore, Dad,” he told him.  “Some of the things I learned in church don’t make a whole lot of sense anymore.  How do I know that the reason I’m a Christian isn’t just because you are. If I was born in India, I’d probably be a HIndu.  I have a lot of questions and doubts.”

His father was crushed.  Where had he gone wrong?  Had he not raised his son correctly? Was it a mistake to send him to non-Christian college?  How did his  son’s faith get ruined?  That’s when he told me he had failed as a parent.

I asked if his son had rejected God entirely.  He said, “No, but it’s just as bad.  He has all these doubts and questions.”

“That’s good,” I said. “It shows he’s thinking about it and taking it seriously.”

“How can you say that?“ he yelled.  “What do you want him to be, some sort of Doubting Thomas?”

“Well, actually, yes.”  I said.