5 Ideas for Ethical Social Networking

Recently I wrote a piece, “Communities or Commodities”  questioning the self-promotional nature of social networks.  We develop a compartmentalized view of our online relationships as if they are somehow detached from the realm of ethical behavior.  In most spiritual traditions, there are calls to die to one’s self and one’s ego.  Often, this concept is at odds with the very nature of Facebook or Twitter. 

Rather than just complain, I thought I would offer some suggestions.  Perhaps some of them are unrealistic.  These are rooted in my own tradition as a follower of Jesus, but I hope people of any or no spiritual tradition would find them helpful as well:

1. Take a Sabbath from yourself – Take a break one day each week from talking about yourself.  Only post good things and promote the agendas of others. Share and retweet messages that make other people look good. Just make sure that doing so is of no benefit to you.
2. Begin your status updates with “If God wills it…” or some variant thereof. Early Christians admonished one another not to brag about their plans for tomorrow because one never knew what the next day would bring forth.  Admitting the tenuous nature of our plans acknowledges how little we have control of our lives, and in turn, makes us less controlling.
3. Don’t slam with status – Jesus said if you have a problem with a person, go to them directly.  It’s tempting to write messages that are hidden jabs at someone we know will read them.  If you find yourself doing that – STOP.  Hit the delete key and walk away from your computer and go spend time playing with the kids or the dog.
4. Say nice things about people you don’t like – Jesus said to love our enemies and do good to those who attack us.  Having a dispute with a friend?  Post something nice about them.  On a larger scale, rather than post your latest insult about Obama or Palin, write something you admire about them.  You just might find it opens up a dialogue with those with whom you disagree.
5. Pray your Friend List – People always tell me they don’t know how to pray.  Right there, in your networking software, you have a tool to get started.  Spend time each day saying a brief prayer for each person in your friend or following list.  For those of you who are more popular, you may want to break it up over a few days.

I’m not so sure how good I will be at implementing these.  Perhaps some of you have other suggestions to add to the list? 

Comments

[Christine Sine]

Don,
Thanks for this. I particularly like your last suggestion. I have realized recently how narrow my circle of prayer can be but when I have so many not for profits & people involved in mission on my twitter list i know I should be praying for them regularly - maybe then they will truly become friends

[becky]

I don't say "God Willis it" as that's one of those phrases like "I'll pray for you" that really has no meaning. I do try to pray before posting anything on my facebook page - and the one time I posted something that was too snarky, it bit me in the hiney and I had to issue a status update to apologize.

To this I would add - while we all like to have fun, are your postings more faithful or frat boyish? I am the last person to play the role of the morality police but I've seen numerous examples where folks seem to have lost all common sense. Facebook and esp. Twitter are more public than you might think. This is true especially if one is a leader - and that includes published authors esp. if they are on the author/speaker tour. Antics about drinking, flirting, and other frat boy moves "might" have been amusing in college but bragging about said moves once you've hit your mid-twenties could render one unemployable.

[James Townsend]

Those are great suggestions. It's very hard to detach ego from social networking (even a little voice in the back of my head says, "You're doing it now!"). But are we? Am I? It's really hard to tell.

I think it's really interesting that we're starting to see how self-centered all of this social networking stuff is - but it's just expanded community. The same self-centeredness is found in our smaller communities as well.

So it's cool to see us try to tame the same self-promoting spirit we always carry, as our social world expands.

[Don Heatley]

Becky,
Good point about the public and permanent nature of Facebook. Reluctantly, I have to admit it sounds suspiciously like the old movie-screen-of-your-life-God-shows-you-in-heaven that all those youth pastors warned us about on the closing night of a retreat. Just a few days ago a young man I know who is now in the military had to post in a panic, "Everybody! Untag me in all your photos now!!!"

It will be interesting to see how this permanent public record of all our thoughts, words and images will either haunt us or create a positive legacy.
Don

[Don Heatley]

James,
Agreed. Our need for self-examination extends to our online life as well as our "real" life. They are one and the same.
Don