We're Not Above It All

Earlier today I took part in a great online discussion led by my friend  Doug Pagitt in which he asked how some religious people are willing say things in writing about another person that they would never say to the person's face.  He recounted a recent experience in which a moderate Christian leader did not speak up to condemn some of the more extreme members of his group after they wrote rude comments about emerging church folks.  It led Doug to wonder how we have this penchant for calling out members of other ideological groups for inappropriate behavior, but seldom critique the behavior of those who believe as we do.

On one hand, I understand this happens in all arenas of life, for example, in politics.  Partisan commentators can usually be counted on to condemn the dirty politics of the other camp while turning a blind eye to the mud-slinging in their own.  By the way, if as you read this you are saying to yourself, "Yes, the other side does do that," you may be one of them.   There are countless other examples of this hypocrisy and imbalance.  No surprise there.

However, I think that we religious people have turned it into an art form.  Since I can only speak from my own tradition, I will limit my comments to Christianity.  Basically, I have found that people in ministry (both lay and clergy) often behave in ways, which if they were in the real world, would lead to them being fired, arrested or having the crap beat out of them.  Yet somehow, this behavior is not only excused, but almost expected within the church.

The example Doug shared is just the tip of the iceberg. In my ministry, I routinely encounter persons who have been hurt by churches or Christians in general.  This hurt has run the gamut from gossip to sexual misconduct.  All too often, when these persons have complained about the problem to a pastor or church authority, they were told that they were the one who needed to act more "Christian" or display more "grace".  Instead of being applauded for exposing injustice, they were labeled as spiritually deficient or divisive.  

Even worse, those on the receiving end of the injustice often buy into this nonsense.  Refusing to name the behavior of some Christians as inappropriate, they in turn condemn themselves.  Where did we ever get the idea that living in denial is a spiritual virtue?  It's OK to say someone else's behavior is not OK.  Keeping silent about uncivil behavior does not make us more Christian.   We are quick to condemn the morals and actions of those with whom we disagree.  We are slower to condemn when the criticism is targeted at those and comes from those within our own ranks.  We rapidly correct the perceived doctrinal shortcomings of another faith group, but spend little time asking whether or not our own faith group is simply acting like decent human beings.

Shocking as it may seem, the so-called secular world is way ahead of us in this department.  In my own career, I have seen ecclesial leaders treat as normative things such as incompetence, anonymous accusations and unethical behavior.  As one who has and still does work beyond the walls of the church, I know that much of what I have witnessed would never fly in the corporate world.  I am not naive and realize these things go on in business.  However, at least in the business world there is some inkling that those things are to be avoided.  Over the years, I am becoming less sure that the church understands that.  A more extreme example - in any other profession child abuse is considered a matter for the police and legal system.  How is it that when faced with this tragic occurrence some churches could possibly entertain the notion that it was an internal matter?

Why do we get it so wrong?  I think it may be our theology.  Some might question how something as ethereal and abstract as theology could affect such down to earth affairs as human interactions.  But that's the problem.  Theology should never be ethereal and abstract.  In fact, this is what we celebrate at Christmas.  God is not up there, over there, or out there.  God is here.  

Conversely, if we believe God is above it all, then it is a short step to the Nixonian delusion that we are too.  When religion is primarily ideological and doctrinal, real world actions become secondary.  Before we know it, we become less about incarnation and more about self-preservation.  Simply put,if our faith does not happen here, it happens nowhere.

I will delve deeper into this in my Sunday message, so stay tuned for the podcast.

Comments

[Joan Ball]

Hi Don: I did just that and had an excellent experience with both Tony and Doug who were responsive and clarified that their role at the event was not as participants as much as facilitators of the event. I think there may have been some confusion there, but they were great about clarifying it. Certainly some real-time proof positive that, despite the discomfort that comes with it--addressing this sort of thing directly is the shortest way to peace and resolution.

Thanks again for your post,
Joan

[donheatley]

Just an FYI for everyone. In keeping with the spirit of my original post, I removed a thread of comments that were a bit off-topic and better handled as direct personal conversation between people.